I know….it’s been a while. I have intentionally scaled back my schedule and made time for me to actually stop being “busy” long enough to actually think. Whew! It has truly been just what I needed. In my reflection of everything that is going on and the new “normal” that we are being forced to adjust to, I found myself feeling a bit sad about everything that I’ve missed over the last few months. I realized that I’ve suffered a few losses that I minimized initially, but have come to realize that they are indeed losses and deserve to be given the space to be grieved over.
Summer has always been my favorite season. Ever since I was a child, I would look forward to the last day of school because I knew that a few things were in the horizon: summer cookouts with family, cute outfits with matching sandals (I was quite girly, blame my mom), Father’s Day, my Mom’s birthday in July and our annual family trip just to name a few. To add, I have never really been a fan of cold weather, so longer and sunny days were right down my alley. The nostalgia of it was brought into my adult life even as I began to cultivate new memories and traditions.
As an adult, I have continued to look forward to summer and the joy or rooftop brunches with friends, trips to the beach (often in other countries), outdoor concerts and celebrations, and celebrating Father’s Day and my mother’s birthday in a big way. However, I have felt that these experiences were robbed from me in the wake of the current pandemic. Some of these I have been able to do at all, while some have been modified to properly allow for social distancing. I look back at the events of last summer and the summers before with a bittersweet feeling. I realized that the dreams I had for this season in particular-trips I had planned, celebrations with loved ones and even being able to spend time with my friends/loved without the concern about sickness were crushed.
It hit me this week, and to be honest I still find myself fluctuating between being okay with postponing everything until next year and feeling some sadness about what I’ve missed. I’m sure I’m not the only one who has experienced losses in this season, even if it’s the loss of the expectation of the season itself.
When we talk about grief, we often talk about it being in the form or losing a person. However, grief can really apply to any loss that is significant to you and that impacts you emotionally due to the disconnection. During this pandemic, we have all experienced losses to varying degrees. That does not mean that we should minimize the losses that did not necessarily involved people. We should give ourselves the space and grace to properly grieve the season-whatever that means for you. It could even be as simple as the loss of a sense of normalcy. Feelings are not to be judged-they give us information. If you are feeling a bit of sadness because of what you have lost in this season, give space for that.
I also want to encourage you that the light in all of this is the fact that we had the ability to love, to create traditions and relationships that we actually do miss in this season. Are are blessed to have/have had those experiences. In addition, we can make a vow to value these connections, experiences and seasons more in the future.
Sending prayer, love and Light to us all as we navigate these challenging times.
-Brandy Shavon, CEO of Pearls of Esther, Inc.