Ya'll (and yes I said that in my country accent). My coworker gave me some advice just the other day that I have to share. I don't think she even realizes how powerful what she said was. It shifted some things in my thinking and I am positive that it will do the same for you!
We were discussing a negative experience that I had that left a bad impression on me, if I am totally honest. I began to tell her how I was reminded of the experience recently and it caused me to shut down emotionally and not even want to discuss the experience.After some time of listening, she asked me if I would be open to trying again and I responded with "absolutely not!" She then said something that really caused me to think. She said, "Don't allow yourself to become bitter because of one bad experience. Sometimes we allow ourselves to go into feeling bitter because it protects us from really processing through the pain of disappointment." I promise you I got quiet and just sat there for like a whole minute (LOL!). I realized that shutting down emotionally to anything may feel like we are healing when in fact we are suppressing our pain and allowing bitterness to take root.
Bitterness is not a good thing, but sometimes it is the EASY thing. Its easier to say, "I will NEVER ______ again" rather than really process and pray through the disappointment that we felt when we tried and yet failed. Feeling failure/disappointment isn't something that one processes overnight. There will often be tears, lots of prayers, some confusion about what went wrong, and even some unanswered questions. But the good news is that with time we get to the point that we no longer need answers to every single question-we just determine that we are willing to trust God to try again even if we do not fully understand why things didn't turn out the way that we thought the last time. And the tricky thing about bitterness is that we often don't know that its there-until we are faced with reminders of the person/place/thing that caused us to feel the disappointment or feelings of failure in the first place.
Today, I want to challenge you to be honest with yourself about dreams/desires that you have given up on because you felt disappointed. It really is okay! God is so gentle to walk us through our healing process when we are honest with ourselves and truly honest with Him. Oh, the places you'll go when there are no negative emotions blocking you from dreaming and having faith again.
Until next time, much love:)